Overcoming a Dysfunctional Litter
So, after ten years (that is, the entire time we’ve been together) of putting it off, I finally agreed to take the conceal-carry permit class with my partner. Every time he’s brought it up in the past, I’ve said, “Go ahead if you want. I’m not interested.” Furthermore, I thought it a waste of time [...]
If I don’t write down my ideas right away, sometimes I forget them. This is what happened with the post I did about Labels a couple of weeks ago. What I said in that post was fine, but it wasn’t what I’d originally intended because what I originally intended had slipped my mind entirely. I [...]
I’m a little embarrassed to say that the other day, I got sucked into a reality TV show. I am not a fan of this genre, and actually consider it a sort of encapsulation of everything that’s wrong with this culture. But I got sucked in nevertheless, and it was such a satisfying experience, I [...]
The truth is out there. — Fox Mulder, The X-Files Having cautioned against identifying too strongly in the labels we use, I’d also like to look at the flip side of labeling: the importance of having good maps, which are the methods we use to determine our labels. If labels are not reality but rather [...]
And another thing about toxic criticism: it’s never about wanting to help you, or teach you something, or give you insight, or make you feel better. Toxic criticism is about tipping the scales of power. We all say snarky things sometimes. And when we do, it’s usually rooted in some dark emotion. We may feel [...]
One really common bind is people pleasing. But rather than being done to control, as people in positions of power do to their minions, it’s sort of the opposite, often done in reaction to those in control, out of a normal desire to avoid disapproval, rejection, or punishment. It is especially troublesome for people who [...]
In No Expectations, I talked about an ex-boyfriend who was chronically disappointed with the people in his life, feeling as though he were the only one willing to do the “heavy lifting” in his relationships. As miserable as he was with me and with the human race in general, I think he found a twisted [...]
Nobody likes to think of themselves as a victim, but we all fall into this role occasionally–some of us more than others. Sometimes, victim behavior can be so ingrained and so insidious that we can’t see it, at least not without an effort to understand why we sometimes feel so powerless and utterly unable to [...]
Why is it always so much easier to hear the inner critic than to hear the inner guide? I suppose, like getting fat vs. getting fit or being intellectually lazy vs. being a critical thinker, going to the negative is just easier. There is a lot of information out there in Internetland about the inner [...]
Can people really change? There are a LOT of articles about this topic out there in Internet land. I hadn’t realized it before, but it’s sort of in the free will vs. determinism, is there a god, liberal vs. conservative camp of topics. I don’t know if I have anything relevant to add, but I [...]