Overcoming a Dysfunctional Litter
Before I started down my path of recovery in earnest, I did a lot of reading about recovery. I devoured self-help books, mostly about addiction and relationships (the banes of my young adult existence). I learned a lot about what was wrong with me (or at least, what I thought was wrong with me). But [...]
If we truly desire to reach a better understanding of each other we have to stop demonizing each other and replace hate with hope.–Karen Hughes If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. – Mother Teresa Demonizing goes hand in hand with reactivity. When people are reactive, they are externally focused: [...]
I recently had another FOO Facebook skirmish. I have a relative (not immediate family) with a very different worldview than mine. When I post something he disagrees with, he makes inflammatory comments, usually in all caps. I don’t know if he’s looking for a fight, trying to shame me into silence, or just a bitter [...]
You can’t cheat an honest man. — W. C. Fields The huge variation among the modern day descendants of New Thought–collectively known as New Age spirituality–is inevitable, given that New Thought draws from so many different disciplines and philosophies. And given the human tendency to dumb things down, literalize them, and interpret them in the [...]
My sister has many narcissistic traits. She’s controlling–she wants things her way and gets passive-aggressive if she’s “forced” to compromise. She’s entitled–she doesn’t pull over for emergency vehicles (her rationalization: “everybody else does, so why should I?”). She often lacks empathy for people and animals—I’ve seen her be needlessly rude to strangers and kick at [...]
Awhile back, I got together with an acquaintance who I only see a few times a year, and she said to me, “I took your advice…” Even though it was a passing comment I’d made about kitchen design, hearing those words felt good. It’s rare that someone actually comes back and says, “I took your [...]
We have lots of names for justifiable anger. We call it sticking up for ourselves. Taking care of ourselves. Not taking shit anymore. Giving people what they deserve. Tapping our inner strength. Owning our power. Moving past our victimhood. Moving past our fear. Moving past our shame. I like to call it middle finger energy. [...]
My relationship with my significant other has been a great learning experience for me in more ways than I can count. One of the greatest, I think, has been in dealing with conflict. I have learned much in the way of self-restraint, listening skills, and the crucial importance of looking inward to discover the deeper [...]
There is a fairly well known self-help book called The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron. It makes the case that about 20% of the population are more sensitive than the other 80%, and that if this sensitivity is misunderstood, it can be mistaken for fear, anxiety, shyness, introversion, and other “negative” labels that society [...]
Bozos on the Bus got me thinking about something I have long struggled with whether or not to write about: my experience with a narcissistic therapist. Until now, I have come down on the side of not doing so because I don’t want to give anyone a reason to not seek therapy or to leave [...]